Kidding aside, I'm lucky to work every day with three family members, and I wouldn't want it any other way. For me, the benefits far outweigh the challenges.
I'm a second-generation shop owner, but my time working with my parents was relatively brief. My mom passed away unexpectedly only a year after I came to work at the shop, and my dad's enthusiasm for and interest in the business faded after that.
But the oldest of my nephews, William, began working at the shop part time while he was an early teen and full time for the past 13 years. Currently, he's our operations manager and is working toward taking over the business as its next owner. His wife, Iala, who joined the business five years ago, is our office manager and bookkeeper. Another nephew, William's brother James, joined us about two years ago as parts manager and an estimator-in-training. Four of us in our 11-employee company are family members.
Some years ago, William and I had a difficult time getting along. When he was about 25, I retuned from a short vacation to learn he planned to go to work for our largest competitor. My initial reaction was entirely emotional. I laid into him about betraying me, his grandfather and the company. I was in total disbelief.
But after I cooled down, we discussed the situation in more detail and brought another family member from outside the business to intervene. It's a step I highly recommend to those with family businesses: having another family member or a friend who can intercede a little more dispassionately when emotions run high. In our case, it helped us realize we were making assumptions and not communicating things as we should've been. In the end, he agreed to stay on, knowing we were working toward his goal of owning the business one day.As part of our effort to improve our working relationship, we thought we could use professional assistance. So we met with Dr. Kathy Marshack, a family business psychologist. Those of you who don't work with other family members probably can't believe there's such a field of work, and those of you who work with family probably can't believe there aren't more people in her line of work.
Dr. Marshack, author of "Entrepreneurial Couples: Making it Work at Work and at Home," helped us set individual and business goals and define our responsibilities within the business more carefully, which is a key to success in a family business. The personality testing we worked through was particularly eye-opening. Once my nephew and I acknowledged we're nearly polar opposites, it helped us realize better how we could use that to benefit the business. We were able to return to work on the business as a team rather than working against each other.
My advice for those working with family members is to create a code of conduct between each other about such things as how and when you'll discuss conflicts. Meet regularly – outside of the workday if need be – to work through issues. Seek an informal referee and professional help as needed. And play no favorites, but make sure you keep pay competitive with the market.
Working successfully with family requires you all agree on one basic tenet: Expect the best and give your best.
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