I recently had two key administrative people — our general manager and our office manager/bookkeeper — out on vacation. Why would I schedule two key people off at the same time? Well, we're a family business, and my business partner (who is also my nephew) and his wife are the employees, and they wanted a vacation together (go figure, right?).
This is the kind of thing that can cause stress for us as shop owners. After experiencing a particularly stressful life event last year, each day I do my best to be conscious of my physical response to stress triggers, and what my mind does with them. I also have sought out information on managing stress and developed some habits to recognize triggers and how to respond when I do not want my fight-or-flight response revved up.
A National Geographic documentary, "Stress: Portrait of a Killer," demonstrates the effect stress has on our wellbeing. Stress may save your life if you're being chased by a car named Christine. But when you're struggling with an appraiser to fill the gap time of feather fill and block or worrying about an increase in your medical insurance premiums or how you'll afford that smart welder, you're experiencing stress of a nature that is more likely to make you physically ill.
Stanford University neurobiologist Dr. Robert Sapolsky says, "The key difference is we are not doing it for a real physiological reason, and we are doing it non-stop." This flight response to stress is more destructive than the stress itself.
So to keep your body from secreting the same caustic hormones it does when you run from physical dangers, it's critical to master ways of turning them off during the daily traffic jams of life. Dr. Sapolsky's studies indicate that there are many forms of stress, including social stress brought on by different social status or job class. So stress comes at us in many forms, and chronic stress kills brain cells (affecting learning and memory), wreaks havoc on arteries, reduces blood flow and undermines immune systems.
But we will always have daily stresses, certainly in this industry. There is, however, much we can do to reduce the effects of stress by learning effective ways to cut it off at the pass.
Here are three tips that I use and that might help you:
1) Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This is No. 5 in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Industry consultant and former shop owner (and my fellow ABRN columnist) Mike Anderson urges when negotiating for the "up-and-over blend," for example, seek to understand where the appraiser – who is tasked with cost-containment criteria – is coming from prior to seeking to be understood by the appraiser. This may alleviate some of the stress of more argumentative approaches. “Too often we are thinking about what we want to say when someone is talking,” Anderson says. “I understand that can take up to 96 percent of your brain’s capacity to hear and understand and retain what someone else is saying. So we’re only hearing with 4 percent. Instead, maybe jot down in advance some notes about what you will want to say so you can really focus on listening and understanding.”
2) Name it to tame it. This is a technique that I recently learned, and it works especially well when I feel a wave of anxiety triggered by anything from a frustrating interaction to a traffic jam when I have an appointment. It sounds much too simple that saying to myself (or aloud, if circumstances permit), "I feel angry," or "I feel anxious," actually helps dispel the stress, but it works for me – and studies have found it works for many. It took me several months before I realized I was practicing it without a concerted conscious effort.
3) Practice a relaxation method regularly. This could be one or a combination of things. Change your point of focus, maybe through brief guided meditations. Get outdoors and move; exposure to nature improves your mood and energy level (plus it's free and less monotonous than hanging at the gym).
You can find more from Dr. Sapolsky on managing stress at Radiolab, purchase guided mediations by Rich Hanson and Richard Mendius at soundstrue.com, and find information on stress reduction at doctoroz.com.
