Traditions are the beliefs of the dead. Traditionalisms are the dead beliefs of the living. There are a ton of traditions that have been passed on by people in our lives and we continue to live our lives in accordance with. We teach these traditions to our children and the behaviors that the traditions create and subsequent outcomes they produce live on.
Many of us grew up being taught that there is no "i" in team. The message is "It's not about you." I believe that this traditional teaching has created a belief that creates a lack of personal responsibility.
It is important to be aware we are taught things in one context. That context has a positive or negative frame around it. The awareness I offer you is that EVERYTHING has a positive and a negative context.
There is a positive and a negative context to the lesson about there being an "i" in team. If the context is an individual that is selfish, only looking out for her or himself at the expense of others, then clearly it is a negative context.
If the context of the "i" in team is an awareness that you matter, your choices matter, your attitude matters, your integrity matters, how much you give to the success of the team or relationship matters. It truly is all about you, because you will affect the team or relationship in a positive or negative way with everything that you do and say.
I believe that it could have taken one person involved in the repair of the 2010 Honda Fit incorrectly repaired by John Eagle Collision Center’s to step up and do the right thing for them to avoid paying a $31.5 million dollar law suit. That’s right, one person will need to accept personal responsibility to do the right thing. That one person would need to focus on the right decision for the customer and not a business decision for the financial profit to the business.
My youngest son Jeremy got a new head football coach at his high school for his senior year. I have always loved to study the changes made in environments when new leadership moves in, it generally tells a story about why the change in leadership occurred.
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My son grew up learning there is an "i" in team and that lesson was all about teaching him to accept personal responsibility for his choices and the outcomes those choices produced. Many of his past coaches and team members at East Central High School had attended our training. One of the philosophical foundations of our programs is there is an "i" in team.
Again, the message is you matter, you count, you are going to affect the outcome in either a positive or negative way, you must understand there is no neutral in the context of this conversation.
One of the changes Coach Hartman, the new head football coach at East Central High School made was to reintroduce the philosophical belief most of us in North America grew up learning, "There is no "i" in team". Coach Hartman put a different spin on how he taught this lesson by putting it in an acronym, INAM. Spelled out "It's Not About Me". The belief that this philosophy ascribes to is if I say it is about me, then I am being selfish.
There is no question Coach Hartman was taught this lesson as a boy in a negative context. As Hartman came up as an aspiring coach, this lesson was likely reinforced by other coaches who also learned this as boys.
Now, people who have this belief system, absolutely have great intentions; however, they have not had the opportunity to conduct or study the homiletical research I have conducted while working with millions of high school students and business professionals over the past 30 years.
The unintended consequence is the proliferation of individuals who refuse to accept personal responsibility for their choices. The inability to accept personal responsibility has now become the norm and the blame game has become a way of life.
I believe that in our attempt to pass on what we have been taught about nobility, humbleness, and selflessness we have missed a few very important points. It is critical that we recognize the severity of our blindness, because it is creating an unintended negative consequence. I have observed many parents, teachers, coaches, managers and leaders struggle with why so many people will not accept personal responsibility for their choices. The truth is, we have taught them not to do so. We have taught them to abdicate personal responsibility for their actions and quite frankly we have taught them to abdicate personal responsibility for their lives.
Hartman and others teach, "It's Not About Me", I completely disagree, I believe it is ALL about me. This is where it may become challenging for you to read on, however compelling research that is indisputable is about to be shared.
I began challenging "There is no "i" in team" when I played high school football. I was far from being a selfish person, however, I recognized that every position has an individual "area of responsibility" and our success on every play would be the sum total of each individual accepting 100% personal responsibility to do his job. When we were all focused on the same singular positive outcome, and we did our job, the team succeeded.
Every time just one of us was unfocused, undisciplined or allowed our fears to dominate us, the entire team suffered a negative consequence. So you see, there is an "i" in team and it is ALL about me, because every choice I make will positively or negatively affect my team, my relationships, my business unit.
New York football Giants motto is "Do it for your brother" and I absolutely agree with their motto with the understanding that you cannot give away something you do not have. If I do not possess self-confidence, drive, courage, empathy, generosity, selflessness, positive attitude, great work ethic, pride, personally responsibility, enthusiasm, self-motivation, integrity, or commitment I cannot give them to you. I can tell you about them. I can reference people in history that have demonstrated these gifts. I might even be able to share some modern day examples of people who possess these gifts.
I am crystal clear that it is ALL about me. I am crystal clear there is an "i" in team. When we accept that level of personal responsibility in our relationships and performing the jobs we do every day then the positive possibilities available in our relationships and on our professional teams have not yet been realized.
What will you do today to take your relationships to the next level recognizing that it is ALL about you?
